Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done

After I returned to my dorm room from our weekend hour prayer meeting on Saturday, I kept brooding on my conversation with the Holy Spirit. When we struggle with our faith due to our stumbling into sin or inconsistency with our devotion and fellowship with God, we have something tangible to look at and say THIS is my obstacle. What do I mean? When one falls into sexual sin, for example, guilt and shame are feelings that deeply sadden and make that individual remorseful. Still, the Holy Spirit's conviction is what drives them to repentance. If they were asked, "What is your relationship like with God," there is a direct thing that person can point at and say, "I need God's grace to overcome xyz." I'm learning that very little is said for when you are on the other side of that... when God's grace pulls you out of your sinful struggle to where you no longer wrestle with it but are conscious, careful, and obedient enough to not fall. To a place where you're devoted 100% in prayer and the word and living out a Christ-like life every single day. At this juncture, it is essential to note that no Christian can live completely free from sin and temptation. Still, it is possible to not have what my accountability group calls a "favorite sin struggle."

Galatians 5 vs 16 (NIV)

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

What happens when you become like in Enoch in Genesis 5 where the bible writes twice that he walked habitually with the Lord (vs. 22, 24). When you get to a place where all that matters is walking faithfully with God, in your relationship and fellowship with Him. You get to a place where sacrifice is commonplace, loving God is everything, and obedience is second nature. Where God has so drawn you to Himself, and you have an experiential knowledge of who He is, not just about who He is or what He can do. There is a difference if I say I know my brother can speak versus if I say I can tell my brother's voice in a dark room full of people. The former is a general fact I could have heard my parents affirm but the latter comes from knowing what my brother's voice sounds like, his intonations, and inflections. It requires a personal relationship.

Concentrating on the Holy Spirit is essential when you get to this place! It is easy to get into the routine of reading your bible or spending time in prayer, and it becomes a checklist and not fellowship. It becomes a thing to keep track and be proud of the number of days of consistency and not listening to God through His word or speaking to Him through prayer. I found myself in a place where I felt like I was plateauing. I was particular about not treating spiritual habits as a checklist. Still, I knew I had (for lack of a better word) maxed out my current level. I needed a new fire, a renewed desire, and a new passion for serving God wholeheartedly.

Romans 12 vs 11-12 (NET)

11 Do not lag in zeal, be enthusiastic in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer.

Seek FIRST the Kingdom

As I sat in the pews during prayers, I asked the Holy Spirit questions, and He asked me, "If I answered your most pertinent prayer today? Would you be any more dedicated to the work I've given you?" My response was Yes because it was a question He had asked me months before and I submitted diligently to let Him bring me to a place where I could genuinely say Yes. But His response was, "It would be great, and glory would be given to God, but your prayer list will only get reshuffled, and the second most pertinent thing would simply become first." Man, I just sat there quiet and humbled. At that moment, I understood what I had long known... there is so much more to my walk with God than Him only showing up to meet my needs.

Matthew 6 vs 33 (AMP)

11 But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.

Know that God has our best interest at heart, so don't think God does not want to answer our prayers, but we NEED to understand that what we are asking for must not trump or overshadow our desire for God! When I tried to look back to times when God came through with a need I had, I almost could not remember how it felt, but I knew I had a new need most important need by the end of the week. What I don't forget, however, are the lessons I learned and the character development through those waiting times of trusting God to deliver as He promised. Unako Mohae, a Christian brother I admire, put it this way;

So what?

Submit to walking with Him. Trust that in the process, He is building your capacity to walk in the fullness of that other blessing you're asking for when it eventually comes that you do not misuse. God loves you yes! But the same way a father would not give the keys to his 3 year old whom he deeply loves is the same way God cannot entrust you with certain things just yet. In King Solomon's case, the same wisdom and abundance God graced him with took him from God's presence.

Remember, God has also promised that "all other things shall be added to you," we know He does not let His word go unfulfilled (Isaiah 55 vs 11). He knows that in your pursuit of His kingdom and His will, you will develop the capacity to handle the same blessings you are praying for.

We hope you were blessed!

May the grace of our Lord Jesus, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you. Have a wonderful week in the Lord!